Why ‘The Little Bookworm Girl’?

Since starting this account, I’ve gotten a lot of questions, the most frequent among them being, why is your name ‘the little bookworm girl?’

Actually, everything I just said was a lie. I haven’t gotten any questions, at all. I made that question up because I have a clever answer. I don’t even think anyone reads this blog. I’m pretty sure the only person who reads these posts is my older sister, Charlotte. Hi Charlotte.

But we’re going to pretend that a lot of people ask me questions, and that I’m popular.

So why the little bookworm girl?

Let’s go word by word.

The:

the word ‘the’ is a definitive article (i think/i hope) and it is used usually before a noun or adjective. fun fact: i was ORIGINALLY going to call myself just ‘little bookworm girl’, but unfortunately littlebookwormgirl.wordpress.com was already taken. Whoever you are, who took my domain name, i bet i’m gonna be more popular than you.

Little:

I am small. For more specific details on my smallness, see my first post, entitled, “Yes, I Am Small.”

Bookworm:

This is a very false description of me, I cannot actually remember the last time I legit thought to myself, ‘you should read’. I read when a) i am required to or b) my parents have taken my phone away and there is not much else to do.

Don’t get me wrong, I used to be a bookworm. I’ve read the entire Harry Potter series 17 times over the span of four years. That’s 71808 pages, which is 17952 pages a year, which is 49 pages a DAY. I don’t know how I had time for that. 11 year old Me did not have very many friends.

Girl:

I really don’t think I need to explain this.

#grlpwr4life

*internal cringe*

Christmas?

I saw some Christmas trees at Costco the other day.

It’s September 10th.

I mean, I’m not complaining, but…

I Go To Bed At 8:15 PM And I’m Proud

Where I live, it is currently 8:11 PM on a Friday. For most other fifteen-year-olds living in Los Angeles, this is not late. In fact, this is early. They probably have Friday night plans that haven’t even started yet. It isn’t even dark out yet! They are probably planning to be awake for several more hours, partying, having fun.

I am not saying I am a nerd. I am outgoing. I get invited to parties. Okay, maybe they are just birthday parties, but they are parties nonetheless. I usually have weekend plans. I consider myself in about the 60th percentile of “popular” which means I am more popular than 60 percent of people. Wait, is that true? Someone may have to check that fact.

However, there is one detriment to my popularity, which is this fact – I go to bed early.

*gasp*! What? How can there be a popular person who goes to bed early?? I admit, I was surprised too.

See, it wasn’t always like this. Last year, when I was a mere freshman, I went to bed at around 10:30 on school nights, and on the weekends, I went to bed past midnight. I slept in late on the weekends, sometimes, barely waking up in time for lunch. I was a night owl.

This sleep schedule continued all the way through summer, and I enjoyed it. It was a good schedule. Wake up in time to enjoy a few good hours of daylight, then party through the night. It was quite fun.

Then school started.

My first class starts at 6:00 am. Don’t ask me why, it is just simply the way it is. School is from 6 am to 3 pm. It sucks, yes, but at least… well, I can’t really think of a good side to this. It sucks.

Anyway, in order for me to be on time  – who am I kidding, I’m never on time – in order for me to be just a little bit late for my 6 am class, I set my alarm at 4:00 am. Then I hit the snooze button a couple times. On a good day, I am out of my bed by 4:45.

According to most doctors*, the average teen needs 10-11 hours of sleep a night. I consider this to be absolute bullcrap, because that would require me to be going to bed a 5 pm. On days where I have practice or rehearsal after school, I haven’t even gotten home at 5 pm.

So I compromised and decided to go to bed at 9. 7 hours of sleep. Not too bad. Except my time of sleep gradually got earlier and earlier until I found myself turning out the lights at 8:15 pm. And I was okay with this. Because while people at my school bragged about how they got “5 whole hours of sleep last night”, I was getting 8.

This is probably a good place to stop my blog post, but you know that every good blog post needs a rant, and I have the perfect rant for this one.

Why do people think that they are cooler than me if they think they get less sleep? I’ll come to school being like, “guys I’m so tired I only got six hours of sleep last night.” Then they’ll come right back at me with stuff like “six hours? SIX HOURS? I have only gotten negative four and a half hours of sleep over the past week and I am living off of stale pretzels and my Starbucks coffee with no real coffee in it and I can’t even remember the last time I blinked and I FEEL JUST FINE how are you tired with six hours of sleep psh you privileged white people.”

Somehow every conversation I have ends with the words “psh you privileged white people.”

This post went in way too many different directions. Oh well. Goodnight.

*according to what I Googled just now

Advice for Incoming Freshmen

Good evening, faithful readers!*

So today is September 9th, 2017, which means that almost exactly a month ago, on August 10th, 2017, I started my sophomore year of high school. Yes, in California we start school right in the middle of when The Entire Rest Of The United States is enjoying their summer break. But we get out of school on June 1st, so I guess it all works out in the end.

That is not what I am writing about though. In fact, you can probably tell what I am going to write about based on my title. If you have gotten this far and you still do not know what I am writing about, you should probably see a specialist.

No, I am writing about advice for incoming freshmen. Yay! Now, you’re probably thinking, ‘but Faith, it’s the middle of September, alot of schools in The Entire Rest Of The United States have probably started school by now’. Yes, I understand this, but we are going to pretend that alot of schools in The Entire Rest Of The United States haven’t started school yet, just for the sake of this one post.

Advice!

1. Even though the sophomores are underclassmen like you, this does not mean that you are equals. They are 100 times cooler than you. This is a fact.
2. In order to earn a sophomores respect, you should probably buy them food. I would suggest something like chips or french fries. Offer this to them as a sacrifice for your friendship. They will most likely accept your offering. However, now they are legally allowed to pat you on the head and call you their sons or daughters, even if you are only a year apart in age. It is the price to pay.
3. Do not, under any circumstances, eat lunch in the library. You may be thinking to yourself, “this is a one time thing, once I find out where the rest of my friends are sitting I’ll just sit with them.” The students who eat lunch in the library are part of a cult. You cannot leave once you join them. Every day, without fail, you will enter the library at exactly 12:20, eat your food while pretending to read, and somehow, without talking (because talking is not allowed), you will join the cult. Every day the “regulars” at the library will laugh as the “popular outside non-library folk” rush, panicked, into the library to do assignments that they forgot about before the bell rings. You will scoff at them. You are a part of the library cult now.
4. Join some clubs! It is a great way to make friends and have fun. At my high school, though, the only clubs that are offered are the art club (you must know art), the french club (you must know french), or the LGBTQ+ (you must be LGBTQ+). In case you have not guessed by now, I am none of these things. I’m guessing, though, that in other schools in The Entire Rest Of The United States, you have good clubs. If you do, then join them!
5. Create your own club! If they don’t offer a club that you like, make one your own. This is alot of work and chances are, nobody will attend your club. You will be eating lunch every Wednesday inside a bored teachers classroom alone, waiting for club members who will never come. It is one step above eating lunch in the library. Only one step. But, hey, it looks good on college aps.
6. That’s about all I got
7. I’m not good at advice

Goodbye!

*that was a pun because my name is faith. i am funny in real life i promise

The Birthday Gauntlet

Okay… I know that I have a big family, but I never really appreciate how big it actually is until around the middle of March. Why March, you may ask? Allow me to explain.

March 20: Jordy’s Birthday

March 27: Dad’s Birthday

April 9: Robert’s Birthday

April 13: My Birthday

April 14: My Cat’s Birthday

April 15: Mom’s Birthday

May 2: Emma’s Birthday

And let’s not forget the two wedding anniversaries that are in there too!

The point is, from March to May it’s basically birthday bonanza. True, there are a few other birthdays sprinkled throughout the rest of the year too, but a majority of them, including mine, are right in the middle of the birthday gauntlet. You might be thinking, “hey, that doesn’t sound too bad, it actually sounds fun!” Haha! No.

You see, each birthday is not just celebrated on one day. In fact, you’re lucky to celebrate your birthday on your actual birthday at all. You have the birthday breakfast on one day, and then you have to wait until the weekend to have cake and presents, and then birthday dinner is usually on a Friday because it’s easy for Dad to get off work easy, and then there’s that one present that doesn’t arrive in the mail until a week later so you gotta round up all the kids in the living room again just to open one present. Gah. AND if you’re turning an even number, you’re also entitled to a birthday party with friends, which is extra cake, presents, games, etc. It’s insane.

Not to mention ALL the cake. SO much cake. Now, I love cake, but after you have an average of two cakes a week, it gets pretty tiring.

So, that’s the birthday gauntlet, and right now, the 2017 gauntlet just beginning. Hopefully I’ll make it out alive.

My Thoughts On Friday

5:00 AM – Ugh *hits snooze*

5:15 AM – Uggghh *hits snooze*

5:30 AM – Okay. Getting up for real this time.

5:45 AM – I should really get out of bed now.

6:00 AM – Crap, I’m gonna be late

8:00 AM – First class. Just 7 more hours until freedom.

9:00 AM – 6 more hours until freedom.

10:00 AM – Brunch already? This day is gonna go so fast. It’ll be the weekend in no time.

11:00 AM – I’m starving.

12:00 PM – When was the last time I even ate? Did I even eat breakfast today?

12:20 PM – LUNCH. Only two more classes after this. That’s only two hours. Which is really one hour two times, which is half an hour four times, which is 15 minutes 8 times, which really means that I have to get through five minutes of class 24 times. Right? Good thing math is next so I can figure this out.

1:00 PM – Algebra. When will I ever use this in life?

1:05 PM – Wow, it must have been at least an hour so far.

1:15 PM – It’s only been fifteen minutes?

1:20 PM – Who even invented math?

1:25 PM – Math is a man made concept which holds no value in every day life. It was not discovered, but invented. Therefore, we should not teach it to our students.

1:45 PM – Fifteen minutes until my last class. And after that, THE WEEKEND!

1:50 PM – This class has taken up more time than all my other classes put together.

1:55 PM – Who just threw a paper airplane at my head?

2:00 PM – Yessss one class left until FREEEEDOMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!

2:05 PM – 55 minutes.

2:10 PM – What am I doing this weekend?

2:15 PM – How do I not have plans? I always have plans on the weekend! I used to be so popular… those days are gone…

2:20 PM – Should I plan something this weekend? So I can post a pic on Instagram to make people think I’m still popular?

2:25 PM – Nevermind, I only have like four friends.

2:30 PM – I’m starving.

2:35 PM – iiiiiiiiiii wwwwwwaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnaaaaaaa dddddiiiieeeeeee

2:40 PM – 20 minutes!!!!!

2:45 PM – Is she seriously assigning homework on a Friday?

2:50 PM – Lalala.

2:55 PM – Maybe she’ll let us out early.

2:58 PM – Wait no, she wouldn’t do that. Teachers don’t know how to have fun.

2:59 PM – Teacher: Don’t put your things away yet, there’s still one minute! (Me, shoving my things into my backpack: WHAT?!?!)

2:59 PM – Wasn’t it already 2:59?

2:59 PM – Okay, this is weird. Like something off the Twilight Zone.

2:59 PM – Um, hello, Time God, whenever you wanna switch to 3:00… we’re literally ALL waiting.

2:59 PM – Any day now.

3:00 PM – FREEDOM.

My Sister Made Me Dress As A Guy

I was forced to do this against my will. Don’t ask. All makeup and stuff done by yours truly.

Items Every High Schooler Must Have!

• Folder for every class!
• Binder to hold your folders!
• One pencil and one spare pencil, just in case the first one breaks!
• A red correcting pen!
• A pencil sharpener!
• Inspirational stickers!
• Post It Notes!
• Colored highlighters!

Wait a second, cut the crap Faith, what are the actual items every high schooler must have?

You’re right, I’ve been lying to you. Forget everything I just said.

Actual items every high schooler must have:

• Tons of food. Like, a lot. You will never have enough food. But don’t pack them in a lunch box, have them float randomly around your backpack. Then, a few weeks later, you’ll find a nice surprise in the bottom of your bag – a rotten banana! Yum.
• Gum. For more info, see my second post. Gum is the only guaranteed way to make friends. If you’re feeling confident, you can even charge them. I suggest 25 – 75 cents per piece of gum, or, if your customer is desperate, a dollar. Also make sure to bring gum for yourself, because chewing it makes you look cool in front of your classmates. However, this also means that you’ll have a crap ton of gum wrappers in your backpack, because you’ll always be too lazy to stand up to throw them away. Just don’t stick your gum on the bottom of the table. Freaking disgusting ya nasty.
• 2 folders, usually torn. You will never remember which folder has which worksheets, and when you are supposed to turn in your homework, you will always, without fail, pick the wrong folder to look in.
• 15 and a half pencils, all of them either without led or without erasers or without both. You will have exactly 1 pencil that works. This is known as The Golden Pencil, however, is will be next to impossible to find when you need it due to the insane amount of broken pencils and gum wrappers in your bag.
• Loose cash. You have a wallet, but whenever you buy food from the vending machine, you never have time to put your change back in your wallet, and by that time, you’re holding up the line, so you just stuff it all into your backpack. This is actually a good thing, though, because one day you will find a random five dollar bill in the bottom of your bag and consider yourself the luckiest person alive.
• Doodle Notebook. This was originally a History Notebook, but that only lasted a couple days before turning into a Doodle Notebook.

The above items are things that every high schooler must have. I don’t care if you’re “organized” or something crazy like that, you are not a true high school student without these things in your bag. Thank you and good day sir.

Fake Chinese Food?

I’m guessing Panda Express is nothing like real Chinese food, but I like to tell myself that it is. It makes me feel adventurous for liking foreign food. But for real though, can someone from China tell me what actual Chinese food is like? Do they actually sell fortune cookies there or is that an American thing?

How do you even make fortune cookies?

Is every single fortune cookie different? Cause one time I got a fortune cookie from Panda that told me I was gonna buy a new pair of pants soon, and I’m pretty sure the fortune cookie writer was just running out of ideas at that point.

Okay guys, don’t worry, I just looked it up on Google. Apparently this guy is the top fortune cookie writer in America.

He’s also apparently quitting because of writers block. Sounds like something I would do.

Whoever this guy is, I thank you for your service, but unfortunately I did not buy a new pair of pants, so your fortune lied to me.

This post started out talking about Chinese food and ended talking about pants.

🙂

When Your Favorite Color Is Pink

1. People automatically assume you are a girly-girl. Luckily for me, this is true. I shudder to think how it must be for tomboys who like pink.
2. Your mother will not allow you to paint your walls pink, or to purchase only pink clothing, because she believes that this is only “a phase”, and once you become an adult, you’ll grow out of it.
3. People are surprised when they find out that your favorite movie is not Barbie and the Princess and the Pauper, but it is in fact The Hunger Games, a fun family film about children murdering each other for money.
4. On a slightly happier note, you will have no trouble explaining to people which shade of pink is your favorite, because all pinks go well together and are equally as beautiful.
5. Buying makeup is probably the easiest thing you’ll ever do, since the number one most common makeup color in the entire United States is… pink!
6. Sometimes you buy clothes from the store Pink just because it is the only acceptable time you can wear clothes that say the word “pink” across the front.
7. Not related to the blog post, but I have just typed the word “pink” so many times that it does not look or sound like a real word any more. Pink. Pink. Pink.